On OS X
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my choices regarding OS. I remember way back when I used my first ‘PC’ computer which was a Packard Bell running Windows 95 on a Pentium. Before that the family had only had a Commodore 64, which my brother bought. I don’t remember doing much with it and I know that the only real thing I did was play the odd game. The Packard Bell was like a revelation, I remember being in awe of changing desktop backgrounds and having a sound theme (I was 7 or 8 at the time). I also remember playing Rebel Assault and Dark Forces on it as my first real taste of truly modern games. In hindsight they weren’t really excellent games but they had a compelling story and served to push genres forwards. As a child I think playing less “angry” games was probably a good idea!.
For years after I used Windows, Windows 98 and Windows XP followed the initial Windows 95. A strange thing happened though, in 2006 I got bored of Windows and decided to try this new thing called ‘Ubuntu’ which was apparently a distribution of Linux. I installed it on a second hard drive I had going spare on a computer given to me by my brother (I hadn’t succeeded in getting a job after school yet so I hadn’t owned my own computer yet). From the moment I saw the GNOME desktop in Ubuntu 6.06 Dapper Drake,I fell in love. It seemed to fit my way of working without overcomplicating things. That was the start of a love hate relationship that continues to this day. Initially I didn’t use Linux as much as Windows as I wanted to play games, I needed something to do with my free time and games seemed like a good solution. After completing my A-Levels I dissociated myself from a lot of friends and became fairly recluse. Games were a way to pass time and to avoid reflecting on the bad choices I had made up to that point.
Linux was always there though, calling me. I used it for browsing the web and learning about how computers work, I didn’t know how to program and any attempt I made never got past the simple “I can make it add numbers” stage. I was happy enough using it for those very specific tasks but I’d always boot Windows for my games and by the time I finally went to University I used Windows as my main OS again.
Whilst I completed a Foundation Year at Kingston I became more and more interested in the function of computers and how users interact. I found it exciting to think of all the uses a computer has now and could have in the future. I started my first ever programming class in Visual Basic feeling pretty happy and looking forward to learning a lot of new things. I obviously ended up feeling very frustrated with how Visual Basic worked but I still had a fire lit inside me. I wanted to achieve a lot, I wanted to improve the skills I had to benefit a world with computers. I believed in change.
When I changed University to Aberystwyth I think a few things changed in me. The first year was ok, I mainly trolled on IRC and still did well. I learned a bit about Java and how to write Swing GUIs. Compared to what I learned in Kingston I think I learned a lot less during that first year. I had a basic foundation of programming knowledge and a knowledge of more complex hardware issues (I could tell you the steps in the Fetch Execute Cycle and how they work, I could do Binary arithmetic, I understood how processors were designed on a very basic level). I find it hard to feel as enthused these days. That lust to learn has been hammered and I’m left pretty bored. I want to learn about hardware, how computers work on a basic level. I need to learn it, how can I be a good programmer if I don’t understand the varying memory models that exist or how an OS actually interacts with the language I am using?. Without knowing System Calls how can I know if a function is more costly than another?. I know that I haven’t helped myself, I haven’t pushed myself enough to learn things but it’s hard to feel motivated when you’re told that basically a degree is nothing more than a short course on how to write dumb programs.
I feel sad to write that I don’t use Linux that much anymore. I use OS X. I think losing the lust for learning about hardware and understanding how computers work meant I chose an OS that I still love but also didn’t need me to maintain anything. I still keep Linux around in VMs but really, OS X is where I exist now.
I love OS X, it has all the Unix features I like but packaged in a beautiful system that does everything I need. I can write programs in it happily and not feel oppressed. I think a lot of people feel the same way. OS X is my future.
Whatever died in me killed Linux for me too.
